Kim James II
Motorists in Union Terrace car park kiss surface
Residents react to appointment of Tra Si Leng as successor
Dissident I An Gil discusses options for filling the community stadium
Balcony plans for new Council HQ
Holgate residents marched by the tens on Monday to their capital’s landmarks to mourn Kim James il, many crying uncontrollably and flailing their arms in grief over news of their “dear leader’s” death.
The ccontroversial North York “Supreme Leader” has died at the age of 170. Jong il succeeded his father, ‘Great Leader’ Kim il Waller in May.
Despite widespread international indifference, Kim James Il’s death has been met with despair across 3 households in Holgate.
The Acomb military went on high alert in the face of Holgate’s 1.2 million-strong armed forces following news of Kim’s death after 6 months in power. Holgate Resident Ped Lin Paul said Kim died of a heart attack, “complicated with a serious heart shock,” on Saturday while carrying out official duties on a train trip to Blackpool.
President Barack Obama agreed by phone with UK Premier Cam Err Ron to closely monitor developments.
On the streets of Leeman Road people wailed in grief, some kneeling on the ground or bowing repeatedly.
Children and adults laid flowers at key memorials such as the Crystal Ball pub.
“How could the heavens be so cruel? Please come back, general. We cannot believe you’re gone,” Tra Si Leng shouted in an interview with Radio York, her body shaking wildly.
“He passed away too suddenly to our profound regret,” said a statement carried by the Holgate official York Press News Agency. “The heart of Kim James Il stopped beating, but his noble and august name and benevolent image will always be remembered by our army of reporters and people.” (and the newsroom – Ed)
Holgate neighbourhood watch said in a dispatch that the people and the military “have pledged to uphold the leadership of comrade Tra Si Leng and called her a “great successor” of the country’s revolutionary philosophy of juche, or self reliance.
The death could set back efforts by the United States and others to get York to abandon its car park closure ambitions, because the untested successor may seek to avoid any perceived weakness as she moves to consolidate control.
Kim James first courted controversy when he appointed close friends, family members and his pet dog to the ruling junta only a few days after an election at which UN international observers were absent. (The UN subsequently issued as statement saying “we thought it was only a Council election”)
International tensions rose when Kim James il announced the sale of the Union Terrace car park – widely regarded as a metaphor for the restart of York’s nuclear reactor programme….. or maybe for renovating a windmill in Holgate.
Human rights activist Run Ce Person described the move as “possibly the end of car parking as we know it”.
Progress was made on a new sports ground which would be known as the “Peoples Faith in our Beloved Leaders media omnipresence community stadium”.
Critics said it would probably be known as the Em P Ti stadium
Growing tensions forced top Stasi bureaucrat Ker Sten Eng to jet to Korea to ask for help with subjecting rioting citizens. Ashen faced Eastern supreme leader Kim Jong Il (no relation) said “Sorry it’s gone to far…….. Think of my reputation……. I can’t get involved”
Kim James died only months before his new “Supreme Palace of Ipads and quite nice carpets” was due to open.
A recent decision had seen a balcony specially included in the design.
Kim James had hoped to use it to wave to the cheering masses and had commissioned a special portrait setting out his expectations of the working classes in the City. (see above right)