There were amazing scenes at the count for the Crime Commissioner elections in North Yorkshire today. Dozens of additional poll clerks had to be drafted out as it became apparent that no one had voted in the election.
Disconsolate returning officer Ker Sten Eng was seen wandering around the counting room shaking ballot boxes upside down to find any missing papers. There was a moments excitement as a ballot paper was found which contained a cross for Ruth “don’t be a rotter vote for” Potter, but it turned out to be a left over from the 2011 Council elections.
Both candidates boarded an open topped bus promising to tour North Yorkshire in search of missing voters. This prompted a complaint from the Police Federation spokesman as the bus approached Scarborough. He claimed his members were being put at risk as they tried to prevent large numbers of panicking people from jumping off the harbour walls into the North Sea.
When the result was eventually announced the chairman of the North Yorkshire Conservatives said, “I am delighted that Ruth Mulligan has been successful” Told that the Tory candidate was called Julia he complained, “I didn’t get a leaflet from either of the candidates. Frankly the whole thing was a sham”
He later claimed to have been misquoted. He had said that it was a “Champaign” occasion.
Missing from the count were the Liberal Democrats who had been urged in the run up to the PCC election to “March towards the sound of gunfire”. After a moments consideration the party had opted to wander off to the local prisoner of war camp.
Julia Mulligan is expected to start work straight away. A desk has been ordered and she will sit behind it for 4 years. It is unclear whether she will be allowed access to a telephone or computer. All sharp objects have been removed from the desk.
She is expected to spend most of her time counting her £34 per hour salary.
