Egg and bacon

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
‘Careful,’ he said, ‘CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They’re going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you’re cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don’t forget to salt them.. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the! Salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!’
The wife stared at him. ‘What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry a couple of eggs?’
The husband calmly replied, ‘I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I’m driving.’

City Cycling Extravaganza Sun 21 Aug, 5pm to 8.15pm, start at Duncombe Place, York

This free event will take place on Sunday 21 August and will feature a variety of fun races for local residents, as well as competitive races for amateur and professional cyclists. Competitors will follow a route that runs through the heart of the historic city and promises to be an action-packed evening for both competitors and spectators.
Amateur competitive cyclists from across the region will go head to head towards the end of the evening in an Elite race, which looks set to attract professional riders from across the UK, will provide a thrilling finale.
Also an opportunity to make a day of it – visit the Latin Festival in the Quarter (the Swinegate area) or the Lord Mayor’s Children’s fun day in the Duncombe Place area – something for all the family! Visit: http://www.britishcycling.org.uk/